Are you worried about the safety of an older loved one on the road? If so, you are not alone. Countless families face this issue every year, and it can be devastating for both the senior and their loved ones to deal with. The senior is often forced to confront the reality of losing their independence, while the adult child may need to cope with conflicting emotions such as fear of retribution from the parent, anxiety about assuming responsibility for their transportation, and concern for their safety and that of others on the road.  

However, if there is a possibility that the senior or someone else may get hurt, it's a conversation that should be had sooner rather than later. The following tips can help you navigate this difficult but necessary discussion:

1.    Choose the right time and place: Initiate the conversation when your loved one is relaxed and in a comfortable environment. Avoid talking about this issue during or after an incident related to their driving.


2.    Be empathetic: Acknowledge the emotional impact that losing the ability to drive can have on a person's life. Let them know that you understand their concerns and are there to support them through this transition.


3.    Present concrete examples: Use specific instances where you have observed unsafe driving behavior, such as forgetting to signal, swerving, or getting lost, to illustrate your concerns.


4.    Involve a medical professional: Consult with your loved one's doctor about their driving abilities, especially if they have a medical condition that could impair their driving. A doctor's opinion can carry more weight in these discussions.


5.    Discuss alternatives: Help your loved one explore other transportation options such as public transportation, rideshare services, or arranging rides with friends and family. This can make the transition easier and maintain their independence.

6.    Offer a gradual transition: If the senior is resistant to the idea of giving up driving completely, consider proposing limitations on their driving, such as avoiding nighttime or long-distance trips, before transitioning to a full stop.

7.    Know your legal options: Familiarize yourself with your state's laws regarding elderly drivers and license revocation. In some cases, you may need to involve local authorities to ensure the safety of your loved one and others on the road.


8.    Seek support: Reach out to support groups, therapists, or friends who have gone through similar experiences. They can provide valuable advice and emotional support as you navigate this challenging situation.


Remember, your primary goal is to protect your loved one and others on the road. By approaching the conversation with sensitivity, understanding, and a focus on their well-being, you can help them make the difficult transition to a safer and more sustainable lifestyle.

If you need additional help navigating long-term care transitions, our attorneys are here to offer guidance and support for your family. Simply contact us at (503) 235-5150 or fill out the Contact form to schedule a consultation with a Portland, Oregon elder law attorney at our firm.

If you want to get started on your estate plan, read about our estate planning services and schedule an appointment.

To your family's health + happiness.

~Candice N. Aiston