Talking to Family during the Holidays: Part 1, Healthcare
Going home to see family during the holidays gives you a great opportunity to talk with them about Estate Planning. I always tell my clients that communication about estate planning is half the battle, but sadly, it is the most overlooked part of the process. I thought I would put together a quick video series before the holidays that gives you some tips on how to approach these conversations as well as how to organize your thoughts around figuring out what information is important to learn, discuss, and share. This will be a three-part series. The first part is about Healthcare. (Part 2 will be about Assets, and Part 3 will be about Kids.)
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The first thing to figure out is what you want to ask about your family members’ estate plans. Most of my clients are around my age and are thinking about having these conversations with their aging parents, but this advice can apply to any family members. You should even ask siblings if they have an estate plan. With healthcare, you want to know if they have created a healthcare directives document, called an Advance Directive here in Oregon, but called Healthcare Power of Attorney, Healthcare Proxy, and Living Will in other states. You want to know where you can find that document when the time comes that it is needed. You also want to know who is named as the Healthcare Representative and who their estate planning attorney is. Additionally, you want to discuss what their healthcare wishes are for life support and tube feeding in various scenarios, as well as other healthcare wishes they have. Last, you should ask if they have Long-Term Care Insurance and/or what the plan is to pay for assisted living if the time comes.
Next, you want to communicate with family members about what your healthcare plans are. Ideally, you have already created your estate plan, so you can tell your family that you have an Advance Directive, who your estate planning attorney is, who you have named as your Healthcare Representative, and what your wishes are around healthcare.
Last, I have a few tips for you to get the conversation going:
1. Prepare your family in advance. Tell your family ahead of time that you plan on having these discussions while you are visiting. It can help to ease the discussion if people are not caught off guard when discussing such personal and uncomfortable subjects.
2. Have a reason for asking. One of the best icebreakers to these discussions is being able to say that you recently completed your estate planning, and now are interested in talking about the decisions you made, as well as the decisions your family has made.
3. Tell a story. Stories can be so powerful in conveying the importance of estate planning. My favorite story to tell about healthcare decisions is that of Terri Schiavo, the woman who spent 13 years on life support while in a vegetative state as her parents and husband fought in court over her healthcare decisions. Imagine the money, time, and trauma that could have been saved if Schiavo had an Advance Directive that laid out her wishes clearly.
I hope this was helpful for you. In the next post/video, we will talk about Assets, and in the final post/video, we will talk about Kids.
If you want to get started on your estate plan, read about our estate planning services and schedule an appointment.
To your family's health + happiness.
~Candice N. Aiston
P.S. Want to get started slowly but surely, naming guardians for your kids? Check out our Guardian Plan kit.
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Candice N. Aiston is an Legal Planning Attorney for Estates + Businesses in the Portland, Oregon area. She helps people to prepare for a lifetime of security, prosperity, and guidance. If you would like to receive her free reports, please visit http://aistonlaw.com/ to sign up. Follow her Facebook page for daily planning tips: https://www.facebook.com/aistonlaw/.