Going home to see family during the holidays gives you a great opportunity to talk with them about Estate Planning. I always tell my clients that communication about estate planning is half the battle, but sadly, it is the most overlooked part of the process. I thought I would put together a quick video series before the holidays that gives you some tips on how to approach these conversations as well as how to organize your thoughts around figuring out what information is important to learn, discuss, and share. This is a three-part series. The first part was about Healthcare, and you can read it here. The second part was about Assets, and you can read it here. This article and video are Part 3, Kids.

The article continues below. If you would prefer to watch a video on this instead, watch here:

The first thing to figure out is what you want to ask about your family members’ estate plans. Most of my clients are around my age and are thinking about having these conversations with their aging parents, but this advice can apply to any family members. You should even ask siblings if they have an estate plan. With kids, you want to know whether they have legally named guardians and if so, who the guardians are. You want to know where you can find the estate plan with guardian nominations when the time comes that it is needed. You also want to know who their estate planning attorney is.

Next, you want to communicate with family members about what your estate plan is. Ideally, you have already created your estate plan and named guardians, so you can tell your family who you’ve named as guardians and why, who you have NOT named but still want involved in your kids’ lives, who you DON’T want in your kids’ lives, how you’d want your kids raised, family traditions you’d want to continue, who your estate planning attorney is, and where your estate planning documents with guardian nominations can be found.

Last, I have a few tips for you to get the conversation going:

1. Prepare your family in advance. Tell your family ahead of time that you plan on having these discussions while you are visiting. It can help to ease the discussion if people are not caught off guard when discussing such personal and uncomfortable subjects.

2. Have a reason for asking. One of the best icebreakers to these discussions is being able to say that you recently completed your estate planning and named guardians, and now are interested in talking about the decisions you made, as well as the decisions your family has made.

3. Tell a story. Stories can be so powerful in conveying the importance of estate planning. I have my own story that I tell clients about how after my mother died, since she hadn’t named guardians, I was adopted by people she didn’t know, and how even thought that worked out pretty well for me, I always knew I wanted to be the one who chose guardians for my kids. Another story that I tell clients is one in which a family on a road trip got into a car accident. The kids survived, but the parents did not. The kids were in foster care for 18 months while the court sorted out who the guardian should be. Imagine a baby growing up in foster care for most of their life, then being transferred to their guardian. The trauma would be lasting. Naming guardians is so important.

I hope this was helpful for you. That concludes this short series about talking to family about estate planning over the holidays. Enjoy your holiday!

If you want to get started on your estate plan, read about our estate planning services and schedule an appointment.

To your family's health + happiness.

~Candice N. Aiston

P.S. Want to get started slowly but surely, naming guardians for your kids? Check out our Guardian Plan kit.

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Candice N. Aiston is an Legal Planning Attorney for Estates + Businesses in the Portland, Oregon area. She helps people to prepare for a lifetime of security, prosperity, and guidance. If you would like to receive her free reports, please visit http://aistonlaw.com/ to sign up. Follow her Facebook page for daily planning tips: https://www.facebook.com/aistonlaw/.